Kido's feelings
by Mekaku Actor
Summary: Because sometimes, the pain is unbereable, yet Kido is unable to show it. "You…are bad at…lying." "Seto?" "Come here, Kido." One-shot


Hi~

First things first...excuse me for such a lame name for the story (see, I didn't want to think of a name...and yeah, it comes from the anthology that's called my feelings...) and for the lame summary too

Then... first time I write in this fandom and such...first time I write in this tense too ._. I usually (ahemalwaysahem) write on past tense

Let's see...what else...

Warnings: bad grammar, mistakes, kinda SetoKido...hints of KanoMary

!yojnE

* * *

**Kido's Feelings**

Seto's pretending to look out of the window that is across the room, but he's actually looking at Kido's reflection on it. He can swear that something is different on her, but he can't quite place his finger on what it is.

He has been wondering on this for three days now, somehow he knows that something is wrong with her. But he isn't sure how can he tell when the only time he spends in the house, is at night.

Seto sometimes hates himself for being so careful and careless at the same time, he can't understand how that is possible, but tries not to pay any attention to that.

He shifts his gaze when he realizes that Kido has noticed him looking at her directly. He pretends that he's still drawing, shifting a little to take a better position on the floor, with his back resting on the sofa. He knows he should be sitting on the sofa instead of the floor, but when he's drawing –what he was doing before looking at Kido-, the floor is more comfortable.

Even though he doesn't look up from his notebook, he feels Kido's gaze on him.

"You okay?" Kido finally asks, in an uneven tone. Seto dares to look at her from the corner of his eyes; she isn't even looking away from the book she's reading.

"Yes, 'course I'm," Seto tries for a smile, but that doesn't seem to convince Kido.

She narrows her eyes, and opens her mouth as she is about to say something, but immediately closes, preferring not to say anything at all.

Seto sighs and looks at her again, he suspects that she has been disappearing more often than she usually does, but then, again, he can't be so sure about it, he never spends _that _much time in the house.

Kido closes her book and stares at nothingness for some seconds; afterwards she stands up and heads for the door. Seto looks her with uneasiness, he doesn't know if it's right to stop her and ask what's wrong.

"Do I have something on my face?" Kido stops at the doorway, ducking her head as she waits for an answer.

"No…"

"Then why are you paying me so much attention?" Kido turns back, to face Seto, and he wishes she didn't. Her gaze pierces his, like daggers.

"I'm not," Seto's voice somehow sounds firm and calm yet soft, he doesn't break the eye contact, he's afraid of what might happen if he does.

"You…are bad at…" Kido stutters, like she's forcing the next word out of her mouth, "_lying_."

Seto is sure that she was remembering something -no- _someone_ she wants to forget.

"Sorry…" he trails off, not knowing what he can say.

Kido sighs and hesitates for a few seconds before walking out of the room, her gaze clearly lost in thoughts.

Seto is worried; he's sure that Kido's not okay. He stands up, setting his notebook on the sofa and looks around, like he hopes that he will find the answer in that empty room. When he realizes he's tired, he decides it's time to go to sleep.

* * *

Seto's steps don't make any noise as he walks through the hallway toward his room, nevertheless Kano peeks his head when Seto is passing by his room.

"Seto?"

Seto looks at Kano and immediately knows that he hasn't been sleeping, he's too awake.

"Yeah?" Seto gives him a smile, encouraging Kano to tell him what he wants.

"Nay, nothing…forget it," Kano mumbles, closing the door without waiting any response.

But Seto can't forget something, he never does. And he's not anxious to know what Kano was about to tell him, for he already knows it. But he keeps his mouth close; he's not supposed to know. He mustn't know.

* * *

Kido keeps walking, ignoring the confused looks she receives from an old man; it's accusatory, like she has done something unnatural. To tell the truth, she doesn't blame him. All what she does is unnatural, but she doesn't feel guilty either.

She just can't feel sorry for him because he doesn't understand her, what kind of exchange would that be?

Seto is following her from close up, his eyes glued on Kido's walking figure. Sometimes, he swears she has disappeared, but then her image seems to flicker and she appears out of the blue. Really frustrating.

He notices that she's distracted when she stumbles on someone, which rarely happens to her; usually she's careful when she's alone.

Kido doesn't have time to excuse herself; the woman glares at her and flips her hair before continuing walking with pride. She sighs and looks at ground, not caring where her feet lead her. In fact, she doesn't care about much the latter days, her low-esteem showing more often, making something hurt in her chest.

By now, she has reached the forest near the city. She loses her balance, struggling for some seconds to regain it, but it was useless. She's been ungraceful ever since she grew up, and so she falls and hits the ground hard.

Seto muffles a yelp and freezes in his place, not sure if he should help her. He doesn't want her to think that he's following her, which is exactly what he's doing, but he guesses she won't have any good reaction.

He scowls slightly as he watches her pulling her knees to her chest, isn't she going to stand up? But right then, his gaze follows the direction hers is looking at. His look turns bittersweet, he understand why the acts of her acts. Now, he understands _everything_, he doesn't even need any explanation because what he's seeing is enough.

In the distance, sitting at the shore of a creek, are Kano and Mary. And Seto can tell they're not hanging out like friends, for Mary is sitting in between the crook of Kano's legs, resting her back on his chest, half-sleep and half-laughing, like she's in some kind of trance. Whilst Kano is caressing her hair and whispering something in her ear, his other hand clasping Mary's.

Seto's not surprised, he already knew of that relationship. It was not the first time he saw them together. It hurt him when he came aware of it, but not as much as he expected, and now it seemed something far the feelings he had once felt for Mary. It has been almost a year since Kano and Mary were together, enough time for Seto to come over it.

Kido's hands are aching because of her fall, but she doesn't notice it as another thing has caught her attention. She stays, breathlessly for one, two, three seconds, then she swallows with difficulty and draws a long breath. She stares at Kano and Mary, with the urge of looking away, but she forces herself to not, she keeps looking, keeps hurting herself.

Something is stinging in Kido's eyes; she doesn't recognize the feeling at first because she hasn't felt it for a long time. But the she stiffens when she realizes what it is, she is about to _cry._

She draws a long breath, trying to calm down. She doesn't want to cry, she mustn't. To distract herself, she stands up and dusts off her clothes, but it's useless, distraction is not an option. She tries to walk, but it's like her feet has turned to stone. And her eyes drift to _them _again.

That's when Kido knows that Kano wasn't ever _that_ happy when he was with her, she really knows that the laughing is not forced and his smile is not faked, and she's sure, like she has never been, that he's not pretending.

It's not the first time she sees them like _that_, but Kano never told her about it. She just remembers fading memories when he started to avoid her, when he took his distance and never treated her the same way as before, when everything was over.

Seto hesitates for some seconds, then he realizes he doesn't care anymore if Kido scolds him for following her, he cares more about her and it wouldn't matter to him. He approaches her quietly, he's almost sure that she's about to cry for she isn't moving.

He slips his hand in hers, but she doesn't react and he realizes her hands are deathly cold. She just looks at him like he's not real, Seto realizes she's serious, like always, staying neutral. But he knows that deep inside she's suffering, he can tell.

"Come on, Kido," Seto whispers softly, squeezing her hand gently and dragging her away.

She nods, absent-mindedly. At least that relaxes Seto a little. They walk inner the forest, Seto guiding the way; after all it's him the one who always explores it. He decides to stop when he feels like they are far enough from the city and any other thing that can disturb them.

Kido is looking down, refusing to make eye contact with Seto, and he knows he mustn't ask questions, it seems unnecessary at that point. Instead, he does what she needs him to do.

"Come here, Kido," he speaks softly, removing his hand from hers and holding out his arms. Kido doesn't waste time and wraps her arms with shyness around him, stiffening in the process. Seto on the other hand, folds his arm around her, his warmness making Kido relax; he places her head carefully on his chest

He smiles a little when he realizes that Kido has the perfect stature for him, not too smaller than him, not as tall.

The lump in Kido's throat increases, and she can't help it, she starts crying. She doesn't sniffs like Mary, nor does she chokes like Kano. Seto can only hear her irregular breaths, but that's enough for him to tight the embrace, smoothing her hair repetitively.

Seto has only seen Kido cry like, four times in his whole life. And none of them were for ridiculous things, the last time, was when they received the news about Ayano's death, two years ago.

Kido separates from Seto after she calms down; she dries her wet cheeks with the sleeves of her hoodie.

"Thanks, Seto," she mutters, looking down out of embarrassment, though she knows she shouldn't be, Seto has always been there for her, he's almost family.

"It's nothing," Seto answers; taking her hand to reassure her that she has done nothing wrong. And Kido doesn't remove it; she just stares at their interlaced fingers with an uneasy feeling.

Seto realizes that and smiles a little, squeezing her hand slightly. Kido looks up, just to find Seto smiling at her, and she finds herself squeezing back.

* * *

End~

Lame? I know...sorry

Reviews are welcome


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